C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My pussy is not your playground.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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