Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey