best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
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We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
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She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.