i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits