Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.

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  (843): This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit. http://tfl.nu/ua7t
  Replies (9) Good night (783) Bad night (633) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window

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  (501): Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window http://tfl.nu/m081
  Replies (12) Good night (865) Bad night (2707) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse

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  (702): And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse http://tfl.nu/oibh
  Replies (11) Good night (1241) Bad night (3180) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?

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  (270): Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house? http://tfl.nu/tnd3
  Replies (30) Good night (9073) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!

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  (937): Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon! http://tfl.nu/1aph
  Replies (92) Good night (13505) Bad night (1448) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  no, didnt close...

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...

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  (508): no, didnt close... (978): What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic... http://tfl.nu/lkpf
  Replies (13) Good night (864) Bad night (5940)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"

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  (262): How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?" http://tfl.nu/pevk
  Replies (33) Good night (3172) Bad night (1127) Order T-Shirt
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.

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  (712): i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat. http://tfl.nu/sn6a
  Replies (5) Good night (3657) Bad night (860) Order T-Shirt
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.

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  (580): Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it. http://tfl.nu/0iyi
  Replies (18) Good night (3541) Bad night (819) Order T-Shirt
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  (212): View more from New York

  It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis

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  (212): It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis http://tfl.nu/3xfb
  Replies (13) Good night (2435) Bad night (1124) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?

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  (902): Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions? http://tfl.nu/r2b3
  Replies (6) Good night (1892) Bad night (1283) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.

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  (714): We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%. http://tfl.nu/ldbs
  Replies (7) Good night (1311) Bad night (481) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Everything hurts.

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  (805): Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all? (313): Everything hurts. http://tfl.nu/wajp
  Replies (10) Good night (1557) Bad night (413)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"

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  (701): You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to" http://tfl.nu/m0ec
  Replies (0) Good night (1140) Bad night (249) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.

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  (630): It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again. http://tfl.nu/c0k2
  Replies (1) Good night (609) Bad night (236) Order T-Shirt

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