i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.