I want leopard sheets
thats the plan
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
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Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
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We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...