things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
