We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
And then he peed in my hair
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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