okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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