sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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