can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
