He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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