It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize