If that was your dad, he is hot
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He did a backflip because drugs
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
