So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she peed on how many people?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
