exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I pour the whiskey from now on
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
