Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize