I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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