I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
