Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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