take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
