she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
