their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
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it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
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we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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