mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
