if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize