Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
