Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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