If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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