She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
