I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
