i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
