six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
