I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize