I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
