How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize