Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
