Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
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She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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