Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
