Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
