I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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