She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
