you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
