you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
