I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
