my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
