I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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