i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
