i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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