You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
