You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
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