He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
