Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
