So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
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