your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
