Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
