i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize