I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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