I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
People in love make me want to vomit
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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