And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
