love makes seman taste better
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
