you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize