Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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