i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
