Already got asked if we're dating
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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