Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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