I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
that may or may not have been my penis.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
