Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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